‘We Batter Them With Kindness’: Schools That Reject Super-strict Values

On a freezing morning in Yorkshire, outside of Springwell special academy in Barnsley, the most important part of the school day takes place. The executive principal, Dave Whitaker, welcomes each student with a smile and a personalized hello. However, despite the teachers’ enthusiasm, many students react disinterestedly or even rudely. An 11-year-old girl would respond with a curt “Fuck off!” every morning for a year, due to the violence, drug abuse, and swearing that she was exposed to at home.

At Springwell, instead of punishing the girl, the teachers showed her more positive attention to understand the angst she brought from home. Within a year, she stopped her outburst and began to get along with school staff. The school’s principal, Verity Watts, notes that the daily greeting is essential because it allows teachers to spot which children are arriving in a foul mood and how they are feeling.

Springwell is a special school for nearly 100 children aged five to 16 with various social, mental, and emotional health issues. Many have diagnosed anger-management problems, and a lot come from “broken homes” or attachment disorders. Additionally, many pupils have suffered abuse, neglect, or poverty before coming to Springwell. All of these factors have deemed them unsuitable for mainstream education.

Despite the odds, Springwell takes a different approach than most other schools. Its teachers vow to approach every child with what they call “unconditional positive regard.” In other words, the teachers “batter the children with kindness,” according to Whitaker. This stands in sharp contrast to the “no excuses” approach used by increasing numbers of schools, which enforce super-strict behavior codes, regardless of the child’s individual story.

The concept of “unconditional positive regard” dates back to the 1950s and the work of the psychologist Carl Rogers. The idea started as a treatment for therapists and counsellors when dealing with their patients. The practice means treating every human as equal, regardless of their behavior. Professor Laura Winter, an expert in educational psychology at the University of Manchester, explains that unconditional positive regard does not rely on saying someone is only good if they behave a certain way or fit certain boxes.

At Springwell, unconditional positive regard means rewarding children for even the smallest things, like being kind to fellow pupils. Teachers do not punish bad behavior. “I could have a kid that spits in my face today, and tomorrow I’ll be okay with them,” says Whitaker. Even if a student throws a table and swears at a teacher, the school’s care team looks after the child, takes them to a separate room filled with cushions and sensory lights to calm down, speaks to them, and eventually allows them to return to class. Throughout the school, ambient piano music is played to relax students.

When students underperform in math or English, schools typically provide additional support or small-group work to give them the attention they need. However, if students misbehave, they are often punished with suspension or even expulsion. At Passmores School in the UK, they approach disruptive behavior differently. Teachers provide extra attention to students who act out or struggle with emotional needs, rather than punishment. The school focuses on what they call a "relationship charter" that aims to reward positive behavior instead of condemning negative behavior. They still have sanctions in place, but permanent expulsion is a last resort.

Some teachers in mainstream secondary schools have adopted similar approaches, finding success in providing unconditional positive regard and refraining from confrontational behavior. Zero-tolerance schools, on the other hand, often make headlines for their strict policies, such as punishing students for not smiling or forgetting a ruler. Many education experts believe that high expectations and consistency are key for good student behavior, but how those are enacted must take the school’s unique context into account.

At Springwell Special Academy, students start their day with mindfulness exercises, quiet play, or even watching a movie. Some behaviors that might cause suspension or isolation in other schools are not punished at Springwell. However, school officials argue that they still follow rules, just with more flexibility and understanding for students’ needs.

In the end, every school has the right to its own approach to student behavior. However, schools that refuse to address underlying emotional or mental health needs of students may be harming them in the long run. Zero-tolerance policies may work for some, but they often fail for those who need the most support. By providing students with unconditional regard, extra attention, and positive reinforcement, schools like Passmores and Springwell are giving students a chance to thrive.